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tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  December 24, 2009 12:35am-1:35am EST

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[ laughter ] right, because if a guy's [ laughter ] those papaya potato sacks.
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[ cheers and applause ] dwayne's new cd "dwayne perkins >> conan: i want to thank all derek fisher, thank you very much for being here tonight. i want to thank mr. elijah wood you're a good man.
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>> conan: max -- what the hell happened there? max weinberg and "the tonight >> conan: stay tuned for "late we'll see you in a couple of ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television
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-- captions by vitac -- ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> wow, what a great crowd. thank you. welcome. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." thanks for watching. happy wednesday, everybody. hey, anybody here traveling for the holidays? [ cheers and applause ] well, a major winter storm could make holiday travel difficult if you live in the midwest. weathermen were like, "there's good news and bad news. some people might not make it home to their family." and then people at home were like, "so what's the bad news? [ laughter ] so, what's the bad news?" >> steve: that guy doesn't like his family. >> jimmy: that guy does not enjoy his family, yeah. "so what's the bad news?" [ laughter ] what's wrong with that guy? what's wrong with him? you guys, this is interesting. a new survey in britain found
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that 7% of people plan on taking a sick day during the holiday season due to the party-related hangovers. meanwhile, the other 93% will just go to work plastered. [ laughter ] [ slurred ] >> jimmy: "i'm going to file the johnson report. [ laughter ] i'm going to file the johnson report." my drunk guy sounds like bill cosby a little bit. [ impersonates bill cosby ] "i'm going to file the johnson report." [ laughter ] you guys hear about this? president obama surprised virginia governor tim kaine yesterday by calling into a radio show he was on. but obama had trouble hearing him because biden was in the background going, "ask him to play 'pokerface.' [ laughter ] ask him to play 'pokerface.' ask him to play -- did he say he would?" it's been a long time coming, but tomorrow morning at 8:00 a.m. is the senate's big health care vote, which means starting at 5:00 a.m., me and my buddies will be tailgating in the senate parking lot. [ laughter ] we paint our faces, grill some dogs. you know how we be. [ laughter ] this is nice. at the columbus zoo in ohio, the
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oldest captive gorilla in the world, a female nam colo, turned 53 years old yesterday. [ cheers and applause ] isn't that nice? she celebrated the way she always does, by throwing her poop at anyone who came within ten feet of her. [ laughter ] i think she's happy. finally some good news for tiger woods. the pga named tiger its player of the year in a vote by fellow pro golfers. he'll be awarded with a trophy or as elin nordegren calls it, a thing to throw. [ laughter ] i read this today. researchers have created a new machine that can translate thoughts into speech. [ jimmy thinking ] i know, right? a machine that turns thoughts into speech? what a crock of -- wait a minute. what the -- oh, my god! oh, my god! this thing is amazing. [ laughter ] this is huge. [ applause ] >> jimmy: this is huge. osama bin laden's wife and some of his children have been found hiding in iran.
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man, isn't it always in the last cave you look? [ laughter ] check this out. a new poll from the association of train operating companies found that one-third of women and one-fifth of men visit their grandparents every week. association of train operating companies. nice try, grandma. [ laughter ] listen to this. president obama is looking to regulate the pharmaceutical drugs that get into our drinking water. it's good thing, too. i had no idea there were any pharmaceutical drugs in our water. but it does explain the sudden dry mouth and spontaneous four-hour erection. [ laughter ] finally, a new report found that people in luxembourg consume the most alcohol in the world. the same report found that luxembourg has the most beautiful women in the world after 10:00 p.m. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: all right. happy christmas eve eve, everybody. we got a great show tonight. fro"the view" and her self-titled talk show, the lovely joy behar is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] i love joy behar. she's so good. from "emma" on pbs, on masterpiece classic series on pbs, jonny lee miller is joining us as well. [ cheers and applause ] very good actor. and we got a special holiday performance from the muppets. i'm so excited. [ cheers and applause ] the muppets are here. we're going to do our version of "the 12 days of christmas" from john denver and the muppets christmas special. we rehearsed today and it was the coolest thing ever to happen here. it's going to be super fun. but first, this is the last show before we go on christmas break. so, time for one more edition of that beloved "late night" tradition, "12 days of christmas sweaters everybody. ♪ 12 days of christmas sweaters ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: every night for the past 11 shows, we've been singling out one lucky audience member to take home a rocking christmas sweater from the countdown to christmas cabinet. before we give away our last sweater, let's take a look at the christmas sweaters that have gone before. there are exactly 12 shows before christmas break. starting now, we're gointo give away a sweater every night to a lucky audience member. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: who wants to win a sweater? come on. you know you want it. number 10! number 85! number 15! 59! ♪
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[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what's crazy is we didn't even do it. we have one more sweater left. we just -- thanks because we did it? it makes no sense. [ laughter ] we're about to do it. those are some top-shelf christmas sweaters. since this is the last show before the break, it's time to open door number one. sarah? [ drum roll ] here it is. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. [ cheers and applause ] this is a great one. this is a great one. all right, let's see who wins the last christmas sweater. before the show, we gave each audience member a number and now i'm going to pick a number out
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of this hat. drum roll, please. quest? [ drum roll ] who wants it? who wants it? it's a goody. [ cheers and applause ] it's a goody. >> jimmy: 103! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, pal. how you doing, buddy? there you go. this is really good. what is your name? >> natasha. >> jimmy: natasha. and you're about to cry? >> yes, oh, my god. i'm so excited to be here. >> jimmy: oh, good. well, thanks for coming here. do you mind trying that on? >> sure, why not? >> jimmy: you just pull it over, i think. [ laughter ] >> it's okay, i still love it. >> jimmy: it's a free sweater.
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[ laughter ] that's how you receive gifts? [ laughter ] you roast it first and then you -- there go. oh, yeah. >> oh, yeah. >> jim: this is going to be fantastic. look at this. [ cheers and applause ] gorgeous. where are you from? >> jersey. >> jimmy: you're from jersey? >> yeah. >> jimmy: very, very good. so it gets cold in jersey. you can wear that christmas eve. >> this is my outfit for christmas, for sure. >> jimmy: oh, my god. we're so happy to share it with everyone here today. thank you so much. >> thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we'll be right back with the season finale of "real housewives of late night"! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ a day with less frizz? that's like a day of total hair satisfaction. it starts with the smooth collection from pantene. those weak little fly-aways... get smoothed to near perfection. s you total hair satisfaction guarantee - or they'll switch you back to your old shampoo or conditioner... even if it's a salon brand.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: looking good. looking good. welcome back to the show. as many of you know, i'm a huge fan of "the real housewives series" on bravo. and as luck would have it, the latest installment of that series was taped right here in our very own building. it's called "real housewives of late night." and it stars -- thank you. it stars my lovely wife, denise, higgins' wife, lydia, and her crazy friends. they've taken us on quite a
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journey this season. but tonight, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for our journey to come to an end. [ audience aws ] so join us, won't you, for the season finale of "the real housewives of late night." >> previously on "real housewives of 'late night'" -- ♪ >> that's it. let's bring in the food. let's eat. my name is denise and my husband is jimmy fallon. >> my name is lydia higgins and my husband is steveiggins, the announcer for the "jimmy fallon" show. >> my name is dale miles. i'm married to a.d. miles and he's the head writer. >> hi, my name is yvonne. my husband is the director of "late night with jimmy fallon." my name is renee biddle and my husband is owen biddle of legendary roots band. >> well, wouldn't you know it, we ended up outside the "today" show studio. >> hello, ladies. hi, how are you? >> how did she get on the "today" show? >> stop talking right now! get that camera off me! f-off! [ laughter ] [ bleep ] ♪ >> i'm the queen of "late
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night," and this is my castle. [ laughter ] >> i've got a personality as big as my boobies. [ laughter ] >> well, i think all these women are just going to burn in hell. >> i'm about to show these ladies who the boss is. [ laughter ] >> come on! go, go, go, go, go. oh, no, no. christmas is here. so i'm throwing a holiday party at my husband's office, okay? i'm like santa claus, only with boobies and a better ass. you can't hide up there. come down and help. i can have you fired. help me right now. >> denise is throwing a party for christmas and hanukkah and kwanzaa and the various holidays of that nature. i'm wearing candy cane underpants. a little treat for my steve.
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[ laughter ] candy canes. >> oh, my word. look at the staff. >> well, denise is throwing a little holiday bash, you know? bless her heart. ♪ celebrate good times come on ♪ [ laughter ] you know? caleb is so excited, you know, for all the lights and the decorations and the presents. he just doesn't know where to look first. you know, he's just getting so excited that i may need to medicate him to keep him from exploding. ♪ [ laughter ] >> denise put renee in charge of the eggnog, which i believe is a
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logical decision on account of her alcohol problem. >> oh, it's a christmas present from renee. it's salmonella. thank you very much. [ lghter ] ♪ >> tariq. >> lydia. [ laughter ] you are bad! you are so bad! a lady never kisses and tells. so it's a good thing i don't know any ladies. i am so bad!
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oh, he's a handsome devil. my god, i'm so bad. [ laughter ] >> hi! hey, everyby. hi, boys. hey, baby. hey, jimmy. good job. hey, bashir. love you, boy. denise? well, denise and i have had a year filled with challenges. >> enough already! enough! [ laughter ] stop talking right now! >> how dare you? >> but, look, it's christmastime, okay? this is a time for healing. so, i'm coming to the party denise fallon, okay? 'cause i'm christ-like and i am peaceful and -- oh, there they are. [ laughter ] >> secret santa! elves, i need help. >> well, denise arranged a little secret santa swap, you know, where we draw names and get each other gifts. a little bit of a holiday buzz kill.
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>> he loves this. >> oh, my god. look at this. it's like the best thing i have ever had. oh, there she is. >> uh-oh. it's from yvonne. [ laughter ] >> so it turns out that denise fallon's secret santa is this sexy piece of chocolate right here. [ laughter ] ♪ [ laughter ]
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>> for yvonne to give someone a sandwich of that nature -- well, a sandwich like that is like the mona lisa. [ laughter ] it's the hope diamond. with mustard. >> i got it done, okay? onne got it done. you ain't never seen anything like this damn sandwich. >> let me put it ts way. food is love, then this sandwich was like a marriage proposal. >> it's beautiful. >> i don't know what to say. [ laughter ] i'm touched. i really am. thank you. >> merry christmas, baby. [ slow clapping ] [ applause ] >> this is my friend denise! [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you.
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>> happy holidays! >> happy holidays! >> now it's a party! >> let's start the dancing! [ cheers ] ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ [ laughter ] ♪
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[ laughter ] ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ [ laughter ]
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[ cheers and applause ] [ foghorn ] >> jimmy: what a season it has been. thank you. my wife denise is certainly quite a lady. catch old episodes on stick around. we'll be right back with joy behar, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ i always feel like (announcer) it's right here, it's easy... ♪ somebody's watching me.'s the money you could be saving with geico. ♪ who's watching? ♪ tell me who's watching. (muffled music)
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(announcer) it's right here, it's easy... ♪ i always feel like somebody's watching me. ♪ it's the money you could be saving with geico. josh:( with a clapboard ) and that's a wrap! heather: josh, we're wrapping up holiday shopping, not the show. josh: huh? heather: graphic tees, henleys and thermals are just five bucks! i guess i went a little crazy! josh: yea ya did. announcer: give some last minute love! graphic tees and other great gifts for just 5 bucks. this week only at old navy.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. welcome back and thank you so much for watching at home. our first guest tonight is a big tv star and beloved comedienne. you know her as one of the original hosts of "the view." she also headlines "the joy behar show" which airs nightly at 9:00 p.m. on hln. please welcome a smart and funny lady, i love her, joy behar, everybody! ♪ happy, happy joy, joy ♪ ♪ happy, happy joy, joy ♪ ♪ happy, happy joy, joy ♪ ♪ happy, happy joy, joy ♪ ♪ happy, happy joy, joy ♪
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♪ happy, happy joy, joy ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> you know, i have to tell you, as a woman, not only am i attracted to you as a woman, but you look like sarah palin. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that who you think i look like? >> the girls are back there going, "look how pretty he is." all you need are those glasses, you know? >> jimmy: maybe next season, we'll bring it back. yeah, i'll do a sarah palin. >> you look like sarah palin. >> jimmy: no! >> yes, i'm telling you. >> jimmy: that's a compliment. >> that is a compliment. she's very pretty. >> jimmy: absolutely. thanks for coming on the show. >> thanks for having me. >> jimmy: oh, please. i'm so psyched to have you on. we had your buddy susie essman on the show. >> oh, susie was here a couple weeks ago. she's very good. many, many years we go back, you know, when we were kids. >> jimmy: no, b you did stand-up together, right? >> we did stand-up together, we sat-down together, we did everything. [ laughter ] we met at the place called comedy u. in the village in
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19 -- '82 or 1983. >> jimmy: comedy u.? >> it was called comedy u., like comedy university. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and we met down there. they were nice to us, because they had a women's night. 'cause the boys, you know, the boys would take over. you know how boys are. and so, they would take over. and it was hard to do comedy following boys, because they had guitars. they did masturbatory material. it was really -- so, when you're a woman, you're trying to follow them with something intelligent, you can't. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: come on! this is ridiculous. i'm not fighting. i'm not fighting. >> but we were scared. we were scared. >> jimmy: in the '80s, they had specials on hbo or showtime, "women of the night." >> oh, yeah. i was in that. i was in "women of the night." >> jimmy: finally, women get a special, a comedy special, and they call them whores. >> we're hookers. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] that is hilarious, "women of the night." >> "women of the night." and another one, "one night stand." it's all about sex with these guys. >> jimmy: it's like a double -- you don't need a joke name. you're telling jokes for a half hour. >> it's true. what type of set-up is this?
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i'm getting a stiff neck here. >> jimmy: here's what you do, you just face forward -- >> the normal thing is to sit like this. >> jimmy: sit like that. >> just sort of look at you from the corner of my eye. >> jimmy: we can hear each other. we can hear each other. >> hello up there. i see the audience. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: some people got engaged here. >> i know. that's so sweet. i saw that. >> jimmy: did that ever happen on "the view"? >> getting engaged? no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know. we have only been on not even a year and that happened. >> i don't think that's happened. >> jimmy: really? >> 12 years. >> jimmy: i can't believe it's been around 12 years. >> 12 years. well, i'm one of the original -- i'm the original. what do i mean "one of the original"? i'm the original. it's me and barbara walters. it's her show, so it's a little bit -- >> jimmy: originally, it was you, barbara and debbie -- >> me, barbara, debbie matenopoulos. do you remember her? >> jimmy: i kind of do. [ light laughter ] >> star jones and meredith viera.
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>> jimmy: meredith viera. >> now a big star on "the today show." >> jimmy: you have a big cast. you're the best. now you have your own show. >> now i have my own show on hln at 9:00 at night. i'm here to plug that. >> jimmy: yeah, you have to. hln, is that -- >> they used to be called headline news, but they got sick of that. so now they call it -- >> jimmy: it's not all news anymore. >> yeah, that's right. it's more like fun. my show ifun and newsy. >> jimmy: and mtv is music television. >> does anybody watch that anymore? >> jimmy: yeah, but it's not for music. they don't watch it for music, no, it's reality shows. >> it's reality now. >> jimmy: "jersey shore," yeah. >> oh, yeah, the "jersey shore." [ scattered cheers ] >> jimmy: i heard you're not a fan. >> well, i'm italian-american. so, i'm sure there are a few in the audience. [ scattered cheers ] and like i said this morning, i haven't really seen the show. i was home stomping grapes and making ravioli. >> jimmy: oh, that's not -- [ laughter ] come on! >> but it's a pretty bad show. it's a pretty bad show. but do you remember "growing up gotti"? that, "growing up gotti," made this one look like masterpiece
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theater. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it really did. yeah. it's off the charts. >> it's off the charts. and it's insulting to italian-americans. but what do i care? let them do what they want. you know, let them be happy and let them make some money. >> jimmy: let snooki be snooki. [ light laughter ] >> snooki? >> jimmy: i know, it's great. i get into all those things. >> the names. i grew up in an italian neighborhood. and there was, one time, a guy named chubby died and his wife was just yelling "chubby"! it was ridiculous. [ laughter ] i mean it, at the wake. "chubby!" it was wrong. >> jimmy: like his name was john or something. >> exactly. >> jimmy: "chubby! they killed chubby!" >> yeah. >> jimmy: i want you to tell a story, because i think it's a fascinating story. you auditioned for "saturday night live." >> oh, well, that happened in 1975. you know that was the first year "saturday night live" was on. you want to hear the sordid story that happened to me? >> jimmy: yes. >> all right, so i'm a high school english teacher and i am a housewife, you know, raising my daughter, who was 5 at the time.
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my girlfriend jane who is now the head of social work at sloan keterring and i -- >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. we came up with a comedy bit. we were playing around, just two women in the house. i would play this italian woman who gives news in the neighborhood. that was the bit. like, "only a hail of bullets marred the festivities as wedding bells rang for caramela rose carucci." like that. [ light laughter ] you know, like that. or we had another one, "carmine russo has become a faith healer. there isn't a cripe leftince carmine has been pronouncing his miraculous words, 'walk or i'll break both your legs.'" [ light laughter ] it was like that. >> jimmy: like you should be in a window or something, maybe, or something. >> so we came up with this bit and we're watching "saturday night live" one night. and i see the credits. it says, "talent coordinator john head." john head. >> jimmy: i know john head. he's great. >> i say to jane, why don't we call john head up and see if we can get on "saturday night live"?
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delusional! so, i pick up the phone, i get the number to nbc, and i dial nbc. and say to the receptionist, "can i speak to john head?" she puts me right through. he answers the pne, i say hello. >> jimmy: you're kidding me. >> no, i'm not kidding. >> jimmy: this is great. >> he's british. he says, "hello." i say, "hello, mr. head?" [ light laughter ] i said, "mr. head?" >> jimmy: "i've met your brother potato." yeah. [ laughter ] >> exactly. "how's your brother, gives good?" [ cheers and applause ] [ rimhot ] >> jimmy: see, you did it? you got me. it's on now. >> i'm the guest. i can top you. so anyway, mr. head, i said to him, "listen, i have this bit." "well, let me hear it?" he actually said that to me. "what is it?" "only a hail of bullets, former bodyguard carmine --" i do the bit for him. "that's rather amusing," he says. "why don't you come in and talk to me about it?" "what?" i was like, "i live in queens.
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i don't know how to get where you are. where are you?" "30 rock." i go to 30 rock with my material and i sit there and audition for the guy. i mean, can you imagine a story like that? people out there could not believe that this could happen. >> jimmy: one in a zillion chances. >> one in a zillion that the guy would answer the phone. so, i go there, he liked it. then he has me audition for lorne michaels. >> jimmy: yeah, he loves you. >> does he love me? good, i love him, too. but that day he sat there and i'm up front with my funny glasses -- "only a hail of bullets marred the festivities --" and he lets me go through the whole thing, does not laugh once. >> jimmy: nope. >> finished the bit and he goes, "that was funny." i said, "really?" [ laughter ] how about sharing it with me? like a laugh or something? >> jimmy: he doesn't laugh. >> he doesn't laugh. he said, "if i laughed, then you would think you got a job." i said, "no, i wouldn't." but anyway, next audition, gilda radner's there, chevy chase, madeline khan, who else, newman, lorraine newman,
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all of them. belushi was around at that time. garrett morris, they're all in the room watching me do this. >> jimmy: how cool? >> i was really scared. i was petrified at this. now they think it's funny, so lorne says, "okay, we're gonna put you on the board. maybe we'll put you on." every friday night i would lie in my bed under the covers petrified they would cll and say, "you're on." >> jimmy: it could be just the way it works. it is live. >> it's just live. i was so scared. i was praying i wouldn't go on. who would want to go on when you have no background or experience? >> jimmy: it's hilarious though you got that far. that is so cool. >> every week they would call and say, "you're not gonna get on." you know, "somebody else is getting on, not you." i would think, "thank god!" >> jimmy: now here you are, have your own show. it all worked out. >> it worked out. you know, i started to move along after that. but that was a trauma for me. >> jimmy: super cool story. i love that you told it. >> i love telling the story, because it gives hope to people out there who have no idea that this could happen.
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>> jimmy: yeah, absolutely. well, you wanted it and now you got it. obviously, you got what you wanted, your own show. >> are we done? >> jimmy: we're still going. >> oh, okay. >> jimmy: absolutely. [ light laughter ] "the joy behar show" is nightly at 9:00 p.m. on hln. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with jonny lee miller, everybody! come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ - ( wind blowing ) - ( humming holiday music )
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. our next guest is a very talented actor who can be seen starring in "emma," a three part mini-series airing sundays at 9:00 on pbs, beginning january 24th. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome jonny lee miller, everyone! ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: thanks for coming on. >> thanks for having me. happy christmas. >> jimmy: happy christmas? yeah, do you say merry christmas? >> yeah, usually. >> jimmy: yeah. i like people from england say happy christmas. >> merry or happy. we are both. we are both, yeah. >> jimmy: you give people the option. "merry or happy." >> merry and happy christmas. >> jimmy: very good. how long have you been in new york for? >> about four and a half months i have been here. i was doing a play on broadway. >> jimmy: that's right. with sienna miller. >> sienna miller and
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marin ireland. yes, it was called, "after miss julie." >> jimmy: how was that? >> it was amazing. thank you, yeah, yeah, it was amazing. >> jimmy: you love new york. >> just to spend time -- four months in new york has been just a real privilege -- >> jimmy: it's the best city in the world. >> first christmas here as well. >> jimmy: oh, really? and you have a 1-year-old, too? >> i have a 1-year-old, too. >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> a 1-year-old, yeah, i got a 1-year-old too. as well. >> jimmy: as well? too meaning as well? >> just 1-year-old. >> jimmy: yes. >> 12 months. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: 12 months into it, yes, he turned 1. >> who knew? >> jimmy: congratulations. 13 months, yeah. who knows? don't even do the math. >> no, i'm trying not to -- >> jimmy: yeah. but you are doing it. aren't you? >> no, i'm not. >> jimmy: baby saw his firs blizzard? >> yeah he did. we kind of dipped him in the snow. and that was enough for him. he's li "what?" >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. so, are you going back to england for christmas? or what are you doing for the holidays? >> we're spending it here. >> jimmy: oh, cool. >> we're in new york. why not see christmas in
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new york? >> jimmy: you have to. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i have a couple of british relatives as well. they go crazy for christmas. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you celebrate it really well. >> well, we have our strange traditions. it's a great time of year. >> jimmy: well, you have these things -- >> where did you get those? i have been looking for these. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah! >> jimmy: you can take one. these are crackers, right? >> this is a christmas cracker. this will be on your place if you sit down for christmas lunch which is similar to your thanksgiving. it's turkey, very similar. >> jimmy: puddings. >> crazy puddings. this will be on your setting. then you will turn to the person next to you and grab one side and they pull the other side and there is a small explosive device in here. [ light laughter ] very, very small one like a gun cap. these are americans. maybe they don't have them. but you pull them and you come away with the main section or not. if you have it, inside should be a hat, a small toy and a very
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bad joke. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yes, if you're lucky. >> jimmy: let's do it. >> so i'm sitting next to you at dinner. >> jimmy: squeeze it? >> hold it like that. [ laughter ] see, that's supposed to do that. >> jimmy: all right, yeah. oh, you have this toy. >> let's pull another one. inside should be -- >> jimmy: watch out. it might explode in your hand. >> you would have a paper hat. this is a ridiculous thing. so, then you will have your toy and i use the word "toy" very loosely. >> jimmy: yeah. >> then you each get a hat. >> jimmy: it's a pretty good toy. [ laughter ] >> that is high quality. you must have got these from an expensive shop. >> jimmy: and what are these? now, these are -- >> now, everyone puts this on. >> jimmy: really? [ light laughter ] >> your crown. your hat. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. okay. this is great. >> this is a very serious tradition. and now we will proceed to eat and enjoy. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: and now you eat just like this. okay. [ cheers and applause ] >> happy christmas. happy or merry. you are english. >> jimmy: yeah. hey -- are you into futbol? >> my english futbol or your football? >> jimmy: yeah. football is american. in england it's futbol, soccer. >> i am into that. >> jimmy: you are into that. and who's your team? >> chelsea. the london -- >> jimmy: yeah, and they're number one? >> they are number one right now, yes, but anything can change. >> jimmy: and manchester united, you know, is number two? >> ew, yes. >> jimmy: you don't like saying their name. >> is that your favorite team? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, sure. we don't really follow futbol here. >> no it isn't, jimmy. >> well, it's not. no, chelsea is my favorite. absolutely yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i had clive owen i think he's a huge chelsea fan as well. >> good, well, he's lovely man. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i wonder if you want to play me in a foosball game. >> i would love to. >> jimmy: manchester -- man-u versus chelsea. >> yes, okay good. >> jimmy: rig. i'll be man-u. [ cheers and applause ] there we go. first one -- first one to two is the champ. >> we do play in blue.
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>> jimmy: all right. i'll be the red guys. here we go. >> hang on -- which way are we going? i have three people in goal. >> jimmy: that's weird. i have three people, too. this is fair. okay -- can we get euro soccer music? ♪ [ laughter ] >> oh! >> jimmy: oh, my god -- all right, let's go. >> it's not really that -- jimmy, never mind. [ audience oohs ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: jonny lee miller! "emma" begins january 24th on pbs. stick around, up next, a holiday treat from the muppets! come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (woman) i'm taking an antideprsant,
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but it feels like i need some more help. (announcer) approximately two out of three people being treated for depression still have unresolved symptoms. if your antidepressant alone isn't enough, talk to your doctor. one option he may consider is adding abilify. abilify is approved to treat depression in adults when added to an antidepressant. learn more about abilify. call your doctor if your depression worsens or you have unusual changes in mood, behavior, or thoughts of suicide. antidepressants can increase these in children, teens and young adults. elderly dementia patients taking abilify have an increased risk of death or stroke. call your doctor if you have high fever, stiff muscles and confusion on abilify, as these may be signs of a life-threatening reaction. or uncontrollable muscle movements, as these could become permanent. high blood sugar has been reported with abilify and medicines like it. in some cases, extreme high blood sugar can lead to coma or death. other risks include dizziness upon standing,
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decreases in white blood cells, which can be serious, seizures, impaired judgment or motor skills, or trouble swallowing. adding abilify has made a difference for me. (announcer) talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits of adding abilify. visit josh:( with a clapboard ) and that's a wrap! heather: josh, we're wrapping up holiday shopping, not the show. josh: huh? heather: graphic tees, henleys and thermals are just five bucks! i guess i went a little crazy! josh: yea ya did. announcer: give some last minute love! graphic tees and other great gifts for just 5 bucks. this week only at old navy. [ male announcer ] mcdonald's big mac "avatar" thrill card brings you more. ♪ ♪ [ creature growling ] ♪ take your card to and see a world like no other... with a taste like no other. mcdonald's big mac. it's that thrilling. [ laughs ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, it's almost christmas, so i've got some of my favorite pals to get us all in the christmas spirit with a little help from the roots. ♪ ♪ on the first day of christmas my true love gave tme a partridge in a pear tree ♪
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♪ on the second day of christmas my true love gave to me two turtle doves ♪ ♪ and a partridge in a pear tree ♪ ♪ on the third day of christmas my true love gave to me three french hens ♪ ♪ two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree ♪ ♪ on the fourth day of christmas my true love gave to me four calling birds ♪ ♪ three french hens two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree ♪ ♪ on the fifth day of christmas my true love gave to me five gold rings ♪ >> nice. ♪ four calling birds three french hens two turtle doves ♪ ♪ and a partridge in a pear tree ♪ ♪ on the sixth day of christmas my true love gave to me six geese a-laying ♪ ♪ five gold rings
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four calling birds three french hens two turtle doves ♪ ♪ and a partridge in a pear tree ♪ ♪ on the seventh day of christmas my true love gave to me seven swimming swans ♪ six geese a-laying >> that's not how it goes -- ♪ five gold rings four calling birds three french hens ♪ ♪ two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree ♪ ♪ on the eighth day of christmas my true love gave to me eight maids a-milking ♪ >> oh! ♪ six geese a-laying [ laughter ] ♪ five gold rings four calling birds three french hens ♪ ♪ two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree ♪ ♪ on the ninth day of christmas my true love gives to me nine ladies dancing ♪ ♪ eight maids a-milking seven --
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six geese a-laying five gold rings ♪ >> yeah! ♪ four calling birds three french hens two turtle doves ♪ ♪ and a partridge in a pear tree ♪ ♪ on the tenth day of christmas my true love gave to me ten lords a-leaping ♪ ♪ nine ladies dancing eight maids a-milking ♪ >> what? [ laughter ] ♪ six geese a-laying >> unbelievable! ♪ five gold rings four calling birds three french hens two turtle doves ♪ ♪ and a partridge in a pear tree ♪ ♪ on the eleventh day of christmas my true love gave to me eleven pipers piping ♪ ♪ ten lords a-leaping nine ladies dancing eight maids a-milking seven swans a-swimming!♪ ♪ six geese a-laying five gold rings
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four calling birds three french hens ♪ ♪ two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree ♪ ♪ on the twelfth day of christmas my true love gave to me twelve drummers drumming ♪ ♪ eleven pipers piping ten lords a-leaping nine ladies dancing eight maids a-milking ♪ ♪ seven swans a-swimming six geese a-laying five gold rings four calling birds ♪ ♪ three french hens two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: great job, you guys! the muppets! you guys are cool. thanks. [ applause ] >> merry christmas! >> merry christmas, everybody. >> that was very nice, piggy. a very beautiful job.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah! hey, my thanks to joy behar,


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